Inspired by my pastor, who has been doing a series called Road Trip: The Road We Take, I have been doing a series on the subject as well. I hope that you have found them helpful. I would love to hear your comments and thanks to those who have emailed me with your thoughts about the subject.
If this is the first one that you have read, I encourage you to check out the other posts on the subject:
In yesterday’s post I mentioned that I was going to include the second half of Jim Rohn’s great article, Evaluating Your Associations but I am going to put that on hold for a day because a thought came to me while I was at the gym this morning that I wanted to write about it with regards to the subject of Traveling Companions.
I want you to think about these statements for a second…
1. I wish I was…. (Your internal thinking of who you would like to be)
2. I am… (Your internal thinking with the actions behind who you really are)
3. You are… (The social perception of who you are)
4. _________________ (The only thing that makes the difference in who you wish you were and who you truly are)
Let’s take a look at these one at a time:
1. I wish I was… – This is your intentions. We all have them. We want to be healthier. We want to be richer. We want to be more patient with others. We want to more helpful. We want to better at our jobs.
This is area where we know that things need to change. We know that there are some short comings in our life that we would like to make better.
2. I am… – This is the person we look at in the mirror everyday. This is the real you. This is the results you are presently getting with your life.
These “I am…” thoughts are both the conscious and subconscious thoughts that are habitually working in your life. These are the thoughts that are dictating the results in your life. These are the thoughts that are working in your life to create your present reality.
This is you… “Warts and all.”
3. You are… – This is the social confirmation of who you really are. This is an area that I used to struggle with and still do on occasion. This is a sword with a double edge so you have to be very careful here. Depending with how you deal with this can be a blessing or your the worse curse you will ever live with.
Let’s examine this from the perspective of our “traveling companions”.
I am going to break this down into two sections:
1. Social perception that defines you (Negative) – This is where you just accept what is being said about you. This is the area that I have had struggles with and I am sure many of you have as well.
As I have discussed on this blog before, I have had issues with my weight most of my adult life. With my parents both developing some health issues very recently I decided that I needed to get myself into shape and keep it that way. Up until now I have been on a yo-yo cycle with my weight for many years.
This time around, I was really charge about making this happen in my life and I am making great progress.
Well one day about a month ago, I was looking in the mirror and I was examining the progress up to that point, which I have reached before, and this thought popped into my head, “Your starting to look good, BUT… Be careful you don’t want to get too skinny.”
Thankfully with the help of Lee Milteer’s Habit Busting System, I caught that thought.
I said to myself, “Where the heck did that thought come from?”
It was a strange thought to have especially when I was trying to get healthier.
I traced that thought all the way back to when I was between 7 – 10 years old when my grandmother and aunt used to tease me about being skinny. I hated it and it bothered the crap out of me. For some reason, I create a negative habitual thought about being skinny that had been rolling around in my head for 33 years.
This has been a social perception of me that I let define me for a long time.
These are the social perceptions that you need to be on guard of. You can not let social perceptions define who you are.
2. Social perceptions of who you really are (Your reputation and feedback) – You reputation is the true mirror of who you really are. If you asked 100% of the people that know you about you, 95% would come up with the same answer.
You are helpful.
You are thoughtful.
You are positive.
You are lazy.
You are mean.
You are sneaky.
If 95% of the people come up with this about you, it is true. Perception is reality.
This is also an area that people struggle with because that picture of them is in conflict with the “I wish I was…” (intentions) part of thinking not the “I am…” part of thinking.
4. _________________ (The only thing that makes the difference in who you wish you were and who you truly are) – The blank stands for congruent action.
This is where we can start to make meaningful change in our lives. When we can take the thoughts out of our “I wish I was…” intention category and make them “I am…” thoughts with congruent action, these are actions that are in line with the “I am…” thoughts, you can start to do anything you SET your mind to do.
Let’s go back to my fitness example, when I took the thought, “I wish I was fit and healthy.” and changed that thought to “I am fit and healthy.” and backed that thought up with the congruent action (going to the gym, taking afternoon walks, lifting weights, eating properly, eliminating fatty and sugary foods from my diet), the weight started to melt away to the most recent point of 190 pounds from a starting point of 225 pounds.
And by looking after my thoughts and catching a “social perception” that I let define me, I have dropped from my previous lowest which was 200 pounds to the 190 pounds that I mentioned above.
This is powerful stuff!
By integrating these ideas in my fitness and health goals, I have also made progress in other areas in my life at the same time.
And the social feedback that is coming my way now on a daily basis from people that I come in contact with everyday is… “WOW John, Have you been losing weight? What have you been doing?”
I took my “I wish I was…” thought made it a “I am…” thought coupled that with “congruent actions” and I am now receiving “social confirmation” which is now the thought to those around me, “John is fit and healthy.” (My reputation) after eliminating a “Social perception” that I let define me.
I hope you have found this helpful. Please let me know your thoughts on the subject and…
As Always, Here’s to Your LifetoSuccess,