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BOY! AM I GLAD to see that concrete road coming up!" exclaimed a
driver as he left a rugged detour. After getting back on the good
highway, he was really in a position to appreciate it. If we had
nothing except good roads, they would be taken for granted and not
enjoyed nearly so much as they are when a bit of really bad road is
encountered.
This life is made up of contrasts, and they are blessings. As
contrasts of various kinds are discussed, you will understand what a
drab life we would lead if there were none of them.
How about continuous calm, warm weather? You wouldn't enjoy it
because there would be no contrast; you would know nothing of any
other kind of weather. But, after the season of storms and cold
winds, don't you feel good all over when the delightful days of
spring arrive?
Would you cherish light if there never was any darkness? You would
know of nothing different.
When you see some badly behaved children, don't you think all the
more of your well behaved children? You have another contrast—bad
and good.
If you have an excruciating pain, don't you feel terrific when it is
gone? You appreciate the value of being well in contrast to being in
pain.
When you are subjected to discordant sounds and loud noises, doesn't
the atmosphere seem pleasantly quiet when they cease?
There are many, many other contrasts: Hunger vs. being well fed;
pleasant surroundings vs. unpleasant surroundings; happiness vs.
unhappiness; rich vs. being poor, etc.
One day I had lunch with a man who was a member of a very rich
family. During our conversation I told him of some of the hardships
I experienced in early life; how I had gone hungry for days at a
time for lack of money with which to buy food. I told him of the
days I would awaken in the morning without any idea as to where I
would sleep that night.
"I envy you," this man remarked. "I've never known what it was like
to live in a home without a retinue of servants. There have always
been from four to six cars in the family. My wardrobe is large. I
have traveled over most of the world.
"I envy your years of poverty because you can fully appreciate what
you have now," he continued.
This man was sincere. He meant every word he said. In other words,
he does not enjoy what he has because he has never known anything
else.
As soon as there cease to be contrasts in your life, your existence
becomes boring.
AVOID LOSING CONTRASTS
The purpose of this discussion is to enable you to lay out your life
pattern so that you will not reach an impasse and lose your earned
happiness.
For example, let us suppose you had been in very moderate
circumstances throughout your life. Suppose, by following the
principles outlined in this book, you built a fortune which would
enable you to live in luxury the rest of your life. If you did
nothing beyond making the fortune, it would soon be meaningless to
you. There would be no contrasts.
But, if you laid out a long range, step-by-step program, extending
for many years, you could assure yourself continuous satisfaction
with life.
Your first step might be to get your financial house in order by
either adjusting your expenses to accord with your income, or
increasing your income to meet your expenses properly.
The next step could logically be the arranging of a program of
investments so that you could accumulate a backlog of savings to
insure future security. Then you could begin building an estate, by
securing the home in which you and your family could be happy,
appropriate furnishings, and automobiles to meet your family's
requirements.
Having realized these objectives, look for new trails to blaze. Upon
reaching the point where you can consider yourself wealthy, do not
make the mistake of retiring. I retired once for a short period of
nine months, and I do not know of any other nine months in my entire
life which were as boring. I would get up in the morning feeling the
need at least to pretend to do something constructive. It didn't
take me long to get back into harness again and soon I was much
busier than before my temporary retirement, and extremely happy.
After your accumulated wealth is sufficient to give to you and your
family all that you require—plus security—you are ready for the
thrill of your lifetime: helping others—those who genuinely deserve
your help.
The program just outlined will provide you with a continuity of
contrasts. You would always be in the enviable position of comparing
blessings about to come into being with existing ones.
SELF-PITY
I do not know what percentage of people pity themselves, but I am
sure if such figures were available they would be astonishing. I
doubt if there are very many who can feel totally free of self-pity.
"Why do people pity themselves?" I often ask myself. It is amazing
how many times self-pity stems from a lack of contrasts. An
individual will be living under some sort of adverse condition, and
instead of taking steps to change it, will pity himself for what he
has to put up with. If he could realize that he has within his power
the means of changing his circumstances, he would actually welcome
his existing state of affairs, because of the contrast between them
and what he, through his constructive imagination, will bring into
being.
Mary Pickett was a typical self-pitier. "It is just my luck to have
that happen"; "I might have known I would be disappointed"; "Why do
I deserve all of this bad luck?" are a few of the negatives she
frequently used.
Mary always wore an expression of abject gloom. She seemed afraid to
smile for fear it would belie her inner feelings.
"Why are you always so gloomy?" Mary was asked.
"Who wouldn't be, with all I have to contend with," she said
drearily.
"What are a few of the things disturbing you?"
"For one thing I haven't a friend in the world. Another thing, I
have a figure like a bale of hay; who would want such a person as a
friend"
As for Mary's lack of friends, questioning her revealed that she had
no friends because she had never tried to be a friend. She was given
a lecture on how to make friends and she promised to start on a
campaign of making friends by being a friend.
So far as her "bale of hay" figure was concerned, she had pitied
herself so much for her lack of friends that she took little
interest in herself, physically. Mary Pickett promised to watch her
food intake and exercise enough to develop an interesting figure.
What happened? Mary is now about the happiest little girl in the
country. She has a host of friends. Her figure is not yet what she
wants it to be, but it is so much better than it was before, it
causes comment by all who see her.
Does Mary now pity herself? The contrast between her present self
and the way she was formerly is so great she can hardly believe she
is the same person. Her constant expression of gloom has been erased
and replaced with a most radiant and contagious smile.
Be glad you are as you are! Instead of feeling sorry for yourself,
accept your present circumstances as they are as a foundation on
which to build. Next take all of the negative elements which have
been disturbing you and one by one change them to positive. Do you
see what you will be doing? You will be developing a series of
contrasts which will open up new vistas of happiness for you.
During a period of business recession, Bill King, a printing
salesman, called upon a prospect attempting to get an order.
"How's business?" asked the prospective customer.
"Lousy," he whined in a desolate tone.
"Listen, my friend! I'm going to bawl you out because I think you
are big enough to take it," lectured the executive. "How in hell do
you think you can inspire a man to spend some money when you come in
with a face like an undertaker and nothing but discouraging remarks
on your tongue?"
"I know you're right, but I can't tell a man business is good when
we both know it is not," the salesman replied.
"You can be working very hard in trying to get business, can't you?"
"Well, yes."
"Then when prospects ask you how business is, tell them that you are
busier than you have ever been, and you'll be telling the truth."
Reluctantly, the salesman tried the new approach and was astounded
at what happened.
He called upon a prospect just before lunch. When asked about
business, he told the prospect he had never been busier in his life.
"Come out to lunch with me," was the unexpected reply. "It's good to
spend an hour with a doer instead of listening to one hard luck tale
after another."
The two had a pleasant lunch together, and when they returned to the
office, the salesman was given a very substantial order.
You see? The reason why the executive placed an order was the
contrast between this salesman's approach and those who carry a
crying towel with them. The friendly, optimistic attitude of the
salesman put the prospect in a buying mood, instead of making him
feel he had better conserve every cent.
"There are two sides to every story," is a statement often heard,
and generally speaking, it is true. So, too, is there an opposite to
nearly every condition. If something does not suit you as it is,
instead of trying to "grin and bear it," look for a contrast; look
for the condition which would be ideal to you, then, applying the
principles you have been learning, obtain the improvement you
desire.
Much food for thought is contained in this chapter. See to it that
you think about every word of it, especially when something arises
which does not exactly suit you.
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