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YOU ARE WHAT you think you are! As much as I have used this
expression in my lectures and writings, I wonder just how many
people really understand what it means.
After one of my lectures on this subject, a woman approached me with
an accusation.
"Do you think I am poor because I want to be? Do you think I am
unhappy because I want to be?" she demanded sternly.
Naturally no one wants to be poor or unhappy; but the fact still
remains that we are what we think we are. It is so important that
you fully comprehend the significance of this statement that an
entire chapter will be devoted to it. If you think as you read,
you'll see a different you when you look into your mirror.
"I'm not a bit musical," you'll hear from the one who has not taken
up music.
"I'm not at all handy with tools," the man who has done nothing in
the field of crafts will say.
"I'm not artistic"; "I'm not good at writing"; are statements often
heard.
Then there are those who will attempt to describe their emotions:
"I'm very easygoing," one will say, while another will declare: "No
one can put anything over on me."
You are what you think you are! Our bodies do not reflect talent, or
the lack of it.
If a man is not musical, it is not because there is some physical
characteristic which makes him musical, or otherwise.
If one is awkward with tools, the body has nothing to do with it.
What we are is a reflection of the mental image we have been holding
of ourselves.
Before any of you come forward with an exception, let me say that in
talking about various talents and traits of character, I am
referring to the normal individual. Naturally a one-legged man could
not win a foot race, no matter what kind of mental pictures he might
hold. A person with deformed hands could not excel as a pianist. A
sightless person could not win fame as an artist.
What kind of mental picture does the successful business executive
hold of himself? Does he see himself as a poor businessman? Not by a
jug full! He has reached the heights in his field because he saw
himself as a success.
When I had a house designed, I explained to the architect the type
of structure I wanted. He reflected a moment, then said: "I think I
know just what you want." Did that architect have faith in his
ability? Or did he see himself as a poor architect? This question is
actually silly, because the answer is so obvious.
Here is some extremely good news! If there is something you have
always wanted to do, but felt you couldn't, all you have to do is to
gain an awareness that you can do it, and you'll have no difficulty
in doing it.
I tried an experiment in my own household to prove the truth of this
assertion.
My precious wife—the girl to whom this book is dedicated— had always
maintained that she was not a bit artistic. She had never tried to
draw or paint a picture, because she thought she couldn't do so.
I started on a subtle campaign to establish in her mind an awareness
that she could easily become an artist. In the selection of wearing
apparel, I would compliment her on her taste in color—how well all
her garments harmonized with each other— then drop a gentle hint
that she would make a good artist.
When taking pictures she would be complimented on how well she
placed her subjects to get the best balance. This, of course, all
added to the thought that she possessed artistic ability.
At Christmas, my gift to her was a complete outfit for painting and
drawing. There were sets of oil colors, crayons for pastel work,
pencils of all degrees of hardness. The outfit included canvases,
sketching pads, easel, etc. From this complete set of materials, she
could choose the medium in which she would like to work.
The first attempt was a 14 x 20-inch oil painting of the famous
wind-blown cypress tree at Monterey, California. Without any
training whatsoever, she did exceedingly well with this first
canvas. Throughout our home there are many evidences of the artistic
skill developed after she became aware that she had artistic
ability.
The head of a large advertising agency tells how he became
identified with advertising. In his late teens, he had felt he would
like to be an engineer. In fact, in school, he had been preparing
himself for that field. This man had a phonograph and a quantity of
records he wanted to sell. He selected the names of a few friends
who might be interested, and he wrote letters offering his musical
outfit. One man, receiving the letter, bought the machine and
records and in his reply complimented the seller on the fine letter
he wrote, saying that he should go into the advertising business
because he had the faculty of presenting an offer in such a
convincing manner.
As a pebble dropped in a pool causes the ripples to go to the
furthermost edge, this thought regarding an advertising career,
dropped in the mind of this young man, kept growing and growing
until he could not see himself as anything else but an advertising
man. In other words, as soon as he began thinking of himself as an
advertising man, he became one.
At a club meeting, a member was unexpectedly called upon to give a
talk, telling about the trip he had recently taken. This man had
never done any public speaking and was quite ill at ease in giving
his talk. After the meeting was over, one of the members told the
speaker that he should take up public speak¬ing because he organized
his talk in such logical sequence. Making speeches was the last
thing that had ever entered this man's mind, that is, until this
suggestion was made to him. He began thinking of himself as a good
speaker, and now, he is constantly being called upon to give talks.
WHY ARE YOU AS YOU ARE?
Most people have so thoroughly accepted themselves as they are, they
give little or no thought as to how they got that way.
In a large majority of cases, we are as we are owing to childhood
influences. Most of the fears, phobias, inhibitions and com¬plexes
we carry through life were established in our minds when we were
children.
Let us consider timidity, for example. Very few people ever become
timid as adults. It is the suggestions regarding timidity which are
given to us while very young which we enlarge upon and carry through
life.
A mother might wish to show off little Mary before guests. She may
ask Mary to recite, or to sing. For some reason, Mary hesitates;
then her mother, without realizing the damage she is doing, will
comment on how timid Mary is.
"When alone, she is a little chatterbox, but when company comes she
shuts up like a clam," the mother will explain.
Such comments, in the presence of the child, will create a timidity
consciousness. As Mary grows up she comments on her timidity,
wishing she could be comfortable when in the presence of others, but
admitting she can't because she is so timid. Those of us who know
anything about the workings of the mind know that every time Mary
gives voice or thought to her timidity, she is making it still
worse. So, this lady goes through life, missing much enjoyment
because of her timidity.
That feeling of insecurity so many people carry through life was not
developed when they were adults. Again we must lay the blame at the
door of parents who know little or nothing of child psychology.
Little Willy is playing in the back yard and is warned: "You take
care of those trousers—the good Lord only knows when you'll get
another pair." If Willie leaves a crust of bread on his plate, he is
told how many starving people there are who would love to have it,
and he is further told that the time might come when he will wish he
had it.
Willie goes through life never quite feeling secure. He fears doing
anything which requires initiative because he thinks it might not
turn out well.
I do not mean to imply that children should be reared to be wasteful
and careless; but they can be brought up without feeling that
poverty is always lurking around the corner.
It has been found that most of those who go through life as
failures, had the failure instinct instilled in their minds when
they were children.
Many are held back by a sense of inadequacy which they acquire
during childhood.
"Get away from that, you'll break it. You don't know anything about
tools." The child is always told about the things he can't do, but
is seldom given credit for the things he can do. This is the type of
boy who will grow up saying: "I'm not at all handy with tools." He
is not handy with them because he was told, early in life—at a time
when he was most impressionable—that he knew nothing about tools,
and he believed it.
Illustration after illustration could be given showing us why we are
as we are.
In most cases a pattern is fixed in our minds to the effect that we
are "this way" or "that way" and from then on we reflect that
condition.
You are what you think you are. If your parents were wise enough to
implant in your mind that you had the makings of a successful
businessman, you would continue to see yourself as such and, in
later years, you would reproduce in your affairs the picture you had
maintained of yourself.
Have I made myself clear? Do you now understand what is meant by the
statement: "You Are What You Think You Are"? Do you now know that,
no matter what you have been up to now, you can be anything you want
to be?
YOUR IMPORTANT CHANGE-OVER
How long does it take to change yourself from what you are to what
you'd like to be? That is a good question, and the answer will be
interesting—and even inspiring.
Your transformation will not be instantaneous. After you gain an
awareness that you can do the thing you have wanted to do, then you
will begin developing the technique, which will not take long.
If, for example, you yearned to be a writer, but felt you were not
"cut out" to be one, you might make an attempt at writing, but the
result of your effort would not be good. Every sentence you wrote
would reflect your lack of confidence in yourself. But, if you
should build an awareness that you are a good writer, you would
notice improvement in every page of material you would complete.
Ideas would flow to you; you would become expression-conscious and
find it easier and easier to locate just the right words to express
your thoughts interestingly. The dictionary, encyclopedia, and other
reference books would become friends of yours.
In a reasonably short time there would be acceptance checks coming
to you from publishers eager to buy your works.
Let us assume you have always envied those in business for
themselves. You never tried to get into a business of your own
because you were afraid; afraid you lacked the ability to run a
business and that you might fail. But, suppose that you had
reeducated your Creative Mind so that you now saw yourself as a man
who could build a successful business, what would happen? After
deciding on the type of business you would enjoy, you would take the
necessary steps to establish such a business. And, the success you
would attain depends entirely upon the clarity of the mental
pictures you have of yourself as business-man. The stronger the
impression, the greater will be the success.
Here is a statement I cannot overemphasize! Make sure you are not
merely wishing for the change being considered. As you have read in
so many of my books, wishing is negative. When you wish for
something it is an indication that you do not expect to get
it—otherwise you would not have to wish for it.
The mental state being discussed in this chapter is that of knowing
you are a good businessman, you are a good writer, you are a great
musician—or anything else you may like to be.
In later chapters detailed instructions will be given for easily—and
quickly-changing from the way you are to the way you would like to
be while you sleep. You will learn how to make use of your Creative
Mind-and its reasoning faculties—in build-ing a new and greater you,
while your conscious mind is in abeyance during sleep.
A WARNING TO PARENTS
Those of you with young children, please, please be careful of
everything you say to them. Whether you know it or not, you are
molding the lives of the young ones and their future4s will reflect
what you do for them while they are small children.
“You’ll spend your life in prison, or end up in the gas chamber” a
mother was heard to say to her son who had done some wrong. Would it
be a wonder if such a boy became a delinquent? He was given a
reputation to live up to, and the chances are strong that he will do
so.
When children are very young, they accept every word of their
fathers and mothers as fact. If a parent says to a child: “You’re
bad!” the child believes it, and, of course, he proves this
statement to be true.
Never refer to a child as being anything except that which you wish
him to be. To call him bad, stupid, lazy, timid—or any one of the
conditions you wish to avoid—is actually planting seeds in his
Creative Mind which will grow and mature.
“I can’t call my child good when he has been bad,” indignantly
exclaimed an irate mother. No, this is not necessary, but there are
ways of correcting the child without calling him bad.
“Good boys do not do that,” the parent might say. This compares the
young one with the good instead of the bad.
“With that fine mind of yours, you can easily develop into a
respected leader and not have to work hard all your life,” an
intelligent mother counseled her son who was inclined to shirk his
studies.
When a women has worked hard all day, it is exasperating to have the
children misbehave, and it requires self-control to keep from
“blowing her top.” But bear in mind, the effort required to keep
them on the right track is nothing to the heartaches which can come,
should the children become delinquent.
Having children is God’s greatest blessing, and it is also our
greatest responsibility. When a child comes into being, it is like a
piece of clay placed in our hands to mold as we wish. What that
child will be in twenty years depends entirely on what we put into
it while it is a child.
Some parents will blame the neighborhood for the bad habits their
children acquire. Often, the fault lies elsewhere.
A family of my acquaintance moved into a questionable neighborhood.
This family had a son of twelve, a boy who had been reared to know
good from bad, and who was good because he wanted to be good. What
effect did the neighborhood have on this boy? It would be better to
ask: “What effect did this boy have on the neighborhood?” He
organized a neighborhood club and encouraged the boys to become
interested in constructive projects.
Remember! It is easier to be a good influence than a bad one. There
is every reason in the world for being good, while there are none
for being bad.
Knowing what to say to the children is only part of the parents'
obligation to them. They must guard what they say in the presence of
their children.
A father complained because his children had no respect for him. It
was learned that whenever his wife became angry with him she would
call him "worthless," "a lazy bum," etc. Wouldn't it seem natural
for the children to lose respect? And, of course, if the husband
called his wife names, it would have the same effect upon the
children.
Vile language, excessive drinking, fighting and quarreling, should
all be kept from the children, else they will be reflected in your
offspring's behavior.
Making a success of your marriage is proving your leadership in
directing one of the greatest institutions on the face of the earth.
The children's portion of this chapter might seem a digression from
the theme, "You Are What You Think You Are," but it is not.
As I explained earlier, most of the fears, phobias, complexes and
inhibitions a person carries throughout life were implanted in his
mind when he was a child.
If parents will make a concerted effort to shield their children
from negative influences, the adults coming into being will be
Healthy, Wealthy and Wise because they see themselves as such.
May I make a suggestion? This chapter is so important to all parents
as well as to those expecting to be parents, that you would be
rendering a genuine service if you would lend this book, or another
copy, to those who could benefit from it. Many more will enjoy
happier and more successful lives as a result of your thoughtful
generosity.
You are what you think you are. Now that you understand the meaning
of this statement, what do you think of yourself? Do you see
yourself as a great leader? a successful businessman? a capable and
efficient employee? a good spouse and parent?
Do you see yourself as an author? a painter? a popular lecturer?
Remember! No matter what you thought of yourself prior to starting
this chapter, you can change the entire outlook on your life by
literally "changing your mind."
Go to bed each night holding thoughts as to what you will be in the
future.
Do not wish you could change, but see yourself as having changed.
How about rereading this chapter before starting the next one? Burn
it in your mind that you are what you think you are and that from
this moment onward you will have a mighty good opinion of yourself.
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